Everyone gets older. Not everyone grows up. As I am known for my meticulous maturity, I have to look far and wide to see this in practise. And then I remind myself I’m not and that I haven’t… and for it, I have this story to tell.
There is a sublime simplicity that comes with the springtide of salad days. Anyone with children of their own will know what I mean. It’s a fearlessness that few can feast on – I’ve heard about mine from my parents. They’ve told me of the heart-stopping times they watched me at, all of four, hurtle down a 45° driveway in a pedal car with no brakes (but for a very certain wall at the bottom). Crazy-courage saw me through each ride and my expert steers and swerves saw me laughing my live-it-up exhilaration every time I came to a standstill. Safely. Soundly. As scheduled.
Somewhere between the spirit of then, the gangliness of adolescence, getting the shit kicked out of your heart the first time it had to live-out a “no thanks” and the double standards of the many faces in the working world, we forget how to access our courage; the raw, non second-guessing kind that speaks before it thinks and looks itself in the mirror with pride after it has, rather than for them dozen rehearsals before.
This is not a gloat. I don’t live this way all the time. But I have. I did. Recently. It was 8rave… It was crazy courage… and it was fuckin’ awesome!
I substitute the B in ‘8rave’ because of what I find interesting in numerology for 8. Its most important attribute is balance. It’s a Karmic equaliser and creates as easily as it destroys. It is the number of ambition, leadership and does not shy away from confrontation. When you think about what it takes to be honest on the outside about what you’ve been keeping hidden on the inside, you visit the very archipelego of ambition. And then of course, if you lie this digit on its side (as I sometimes need to do myself), you get infinity – the very essence of courage and who we are before and after anything that anyone else knows about us.
It is infinite.
We are infinite.
It doesn’t have a tally.
It doesn’t know limits.
It just needs to be let out to play.
After ±365 nights of sleeping – and not sleeping – on it, explosion-point pushed me to get real with my feels and force confidence beneath a crush so to convert the convoluted into clarity – even if just for me. If not to create, it would surely destroy. So I wrote it all down (because that’s what I know) and shared it with crush – a la open book.
It was 8rave.
And I did it.
And it was fuckin’ awesome – because it is greater than great to feel.
(What’s the alternative, really?)
And then some.
Dream a bit more… and then have the courage to connect the dots between what you feel there and what you say here. Because it’s fierce to feel your feels. Try it. Just do it. Heart-sleeve who you are without the wrapping or the ribbon. It takes something you draw from somewhere you don’t visit often, but you’ll be so glad you did. And I’ll tell you this for free: courage like that is catching. Set the trend for 8rave – someone has to start it. And you will see that when you do, the spirit of your 8rave shows itself in sprinklings on the people around you who are looking to unlock a magic of their own.
If we took… just one day out of life… it would be so nice…
As are you.
And courage like that is catching.
So why this ^^^? Because being 8rave is something to ce-le-brate.
I will not waltz off into the sunset with him (and I knew that from the start).
But I felt it, so I felt I had to say it.
That immortal moment was the very spirit of what I felt when I saw this, if 8 metres away. August 18th, 2004. Earl’s Court, London.
Embrace your 8rave.
© Dylan Balkind