The whiteness of silence sinks into this space,
as the droned look of numbness hangs about on my face.
I don’t remember losing this race that I thought that I had won,
or when the exact moment was that it all went so wrong.
I crawl into that cocoon that still hovers like silk around me,
delicate and tender and with a love that astounds me.
Unconditional understanding that warms me from the rain,
and I slowly take stock of how I can begin to remove this stain.
I never asked to walk along this path with tormenting demons for me,
it’s like the stale air that I try to breathe was born by an evil dead sea.
But turn your back on me for now because you think it’s better this way,
and I will stay cocooned in this silk as is fight to defer decay.
Spring will bloom new colours that will clear that silent white,
as I gather my rainbow-magic in my battle to win this fight.
There is no first-place needed or a winner to decide,
this ones just about getting me ready for my vacillating ride.
© Dylan Balkind