I wonder how many other people’s playlist to how they process life would sound like a mixtape of clumsy-cool, chillout-cheese, trashy-Tarantino or both boss and ohmygawdblind! at the same time?
Mine’s always been like that. Informed no doubt by an evergreen fascination with flying cars and mermaid tails. Pirate enemies to pretty fairies. Love. Heartache. How the hounded become heroes…
So I can’t be surprised when people respond to my contributions – personal, professional, polite or poppycock – with the conclusion that I may be a few pork chops short of a picnic. Thankfully, it’s generally more kind than killjoy. I think people are genuinely delighted by the opposite of dishwater.
However, every now and then, that which looks to be endearing turns out to be evil. And then, no matter how disproportioned the ratio is, or how topped-up my confidence was, I’m crippled by caustic’s cut.
It seem so conspired. That they lie, waiting. And then rather than nudge or jibe, they go for the jugular.
…it has been an uphill struggle of one disaster after another with him since the start…
…I strongly believe he is in need of professional help…
I have to consider that this dismissive, Dulluminati do genuinely believe – from behind eyes on screensaver – that I am not all right. And to be fair, it could be argued that anyone given a hall pass to wander among the corrugations of consciousness inside my head – may quite possibly need theirs read afterwards.
The extremes are likely to enflame.
And then I remind myself that, although each time may hurt like the first, none of this is news to me.
Conflict is par for the course when your mind works in ways that won’t let you marry mainstream mentality.
This is not a bad thing.
It means that you are here.
In the moment.
And each one is yours to manage, which you should be able to do in a way that celebrates the opportunity of that moment for you to add value.
To make a difference.
Because of your magic – which is unique to you – because of how you celebrate the inimitable possibility of your presence in the here-and-now.
But not everybody knows– or wants to know this.
And not everybody takes kindly to those who do.
That’s life, right?
Come to think of it… maybe I do sound like a mad man?!
Ergo… There is light and dark in all of us.
Angel. Demon. Dylshkibab.
The one we feed is the one that lives.
I don’t always win in trying to defend myself against the delinquent, destructive dalliances of the demon. But I do try… with audio as the armory of my angel.
So we push play, and persevere.
© Dylan Balkind