I found two things today that reminded me just how painfully physical my heart is.
One was a valentine’s card you gave me… the other was a poem called When Love Arrives, by Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye.
Between the genuine insecurity of a flickering bewilderment, where dyspnea is the norm and sensibility is the casualty of a drunk compass, there was only one very raw reality to recognise no matter which way the light reflected it:
I miss you.
And then came the flood of embarrassment in both knowing I could have felt more when I had the opportunity to feel it, and the honesty in recognising why you lost respect for me.
But it was never a waste of time.
It was never not real.
And it was never not worth it.
Sarah and Phil say: “If love leaves … Turn off the music, listen to the quiet and whisper ‘thank you for stopping by’.”
So, Matthew, thank you for stopping by.