Duplicity

When I needed a hug and instead got only silence – the shadowed dither I limboed in is something I felt – alone. I remember trips on yachts, long distance phone calls and letter-faxes. I remember love, care and happiness, but… I don’t remember ever being this sad about you.

When I needed your care and instead got only distance – the shadowed dither I limboed in is something I felt – alone. I remember bicycle rides in the sun, sailing on the dam and learning to drive. I remember love, care and happiness, but… I don’t remember ever being this sad about you.

When I screamed like a mute for you to let me know you cared and instead never heard back from you for months – the shadowed dither I limboed in is something I felt – alone. I remember being kids, playing blind-man’s-bluff, performing plays and singing and dancing with hairbrushes. I remember love, care and happiness, but… I don’t remember ever being this sad about you.

When I decided I wanted more fun with my friends in my life and instead got stuffy, rushed dinners with people now gone – the shadowed dither I limboed in is something I felt – alone. I remember our life, our affinity, overseas adventures and a care-connection umbilical-like. I remember love, care and happiness, but… I don’t remember ever being this sad about you.

When I said I missed the magic and the glitter of my friends and instead got your workaholic homebody cavalier back – it died.

We died.

I will remember the love, the care and the happiness. But I am not going to be this sad about you, anymore.

Any of you, anymore.

© Dylan Balkind

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