Felon Finn


They said that I wasn’t supposed to take things without asking. But where I come from my nose tells me what I must take. That nose of mine is very clever because it’s almost always right and the things that it tells me to take are super yummy.

But still, there have been times where my nose told me what to do and then I heard the shouting and they were all so cross with me. I had always counted on my nose with trust and most of all reliability. I was even gonna ask my Dad for a bangle with the letters WWND on it: What Would Nose Do?

I have been thinking lately because things haven’t always gone so well. When I do this thinking is when I have been locked out and have to sit in my outside bed and look in through the windows with my sad eyes and think about what I’ve done.

They said that I have Felon-Finn-tendencies and that if I don’t try to stop my stealing ways, I will have to go to the puppy detention place called SPCA.

These are the things they say I have Felon’d:

  • A bottle of Gingko Biloba tablets
  • A bottle of Milk Thistle tablets
  • A can of shaving foam
  • A brick of cheddar cheese
  • My Grandad’s belt
  • My Grandad’s slip-slops
  • My Gogo’s sandals
  • My Dad’s socks
  • My Gogo’s socks
  • My Gogo’s panties
  • My Grandad’s nuts-and-bolts set
  • Cigarettes
  • The Kitty’s milk
  • Coffee (that I knocked over so I could drink it up)
  • Tea (that I knocked over so I could drink it up)
  • Hot Chocolate (that I knocked over so I could drink it up)
  • Beer (that I knocked over so I could drink it up)

I really don’t want to go to puppy detention place so every night I snuggle with my Dad and sleep on my back and snore. I think he loves it when I do that.

If I get a WWND bangle I am going to give it to the Kitty.

My name is Finn. Finn the Felon.


© Dylan Balkind

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