I know a rape victim. On a day that started as any other did, it turned when a group of men exerted themselves on her tiny frame and changed her life forever. Psychologically, emotionally and socially… she will never be able to access the woman she was before. I know another rape victim. On a day that started as any other did, it changed when he was led home from a gay bar under false pretences and raped by three homophobic straight men who changed his life forever. Psychologically, emotionally and socially… he will never be able to access the man he was before.
I know a rape victim.
Because of someone else’s imbalanced reality, these lives will never, ever be the same again. No matter how much patchwork is done on the outside to reinforce a semblance of self-esteem, the psychological repercussions will travel with them forever, wherever they go. One day, when love arrives and their heart hopes to be happy again, the mechanics of how those souls plan to live out that love will draw them back into the trenches of their own uninvited war.
I know a rape victim.
No one is safe, anywhere. The school set up by media mogul Oprah Winfrey was host to violence against women and children charges. A prominent writer for the Mail & Guardian, the Washington Post and the BBC was herself a victim of this endemic epidemic. A national cricket player has been accused of rape. Our President has been accused of rape. Both had their charges dropped in overturned cases. Corruption-related or not, consider this: South Africa has lost an estimated R650-billion to corruption over the last 18 years. Think about the positive effect of the power behind that money had it been used for legal repercussions and enforcement that contributed to a safer, kinder South Africa for all. There are 29 different crime categories used by the SAPS for reporting crime stats. So? What difference does it make when the whole system is so out of control that the statistics these departments are using to reclaim their budget allocations are bullshit anyway?
“Crime expands according to our willingness to put up with it.”
- Farber, Barry J.
There is much support, in theory. People take to social media to join fan pages, “like” statements, pledge their concerns by joining groups – but then what? Pierre de Vos expanded on this when he pledged not to get involved in the slew of online noise about the issue (and in doing so, he did). In his article ‘Why I won’t join the chorus of voices protesting against rape’ – he makes the point that:
“…pledges by men that they oppose rape and respect women run the risk of once again turning women into helpless and vulnerable victims in need of the protection of men, thus reinforcing the gender hierarchy that lies at the root of violence against women.”
These ‘helpless victims’ are a very real populous of faces behind the staggering statistics and heartache, and yes, while the viewpoint of de Vos is to highlight the issue of our inter-gender relationships, he does nothing to highlight the legal and moral repercussions against these monsters among men. Well… that’s because there aren’t any.
No one is safe, anywhere.
I am a man. I am a South African. I live here. I hear the news. And then I meet these victims, because you will. The basic math means you will. The Bill of Rights in the Constitution of South Africa sets to ensure the rights of all South Africans. It has failed us. These rights have become unhinged and still, there is not enough noise across our nation about those being trusted, counted on and paid to make this a reality for the citizens of our country. Why?
No one is safe, anywhere.
I know a rape victim.
You know a rape victim.
Men rape women. Men rape babies. Men rape lesbians. Men rape men. No matter who you are and where you live, if you are a South African citizen, you are on the brink of sexual slavery.
Yes, you.
We all know rape victims.
What are we saying when we don’t say anything at all?
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© Dylan Balkind
Thank you for being a ‘voice with legs’ and saying what needs to be said. Very disturbing.
Oh Dylan, what an honor to be mentioned (Cifkids) on your blog. We really need to get together to plan; as I said, I have some riveting footage, I spend four years running after the Department of Corrections to get permission to interview “rape” perperpetrators, I was relentless and they finally gave in an gave me five days to get to SA to get the footage for a documentary so I dropped everything and headed for SA. When I got there they put every stumbling block in my way but I stayed at it by going to Pretoria and ambushed the the Director of Communications office Mandezi Wolela–he did not want to sign the NDA but I sat in his office while he went about his business ignoring me and I refused to leave–whala, who won, yes, I did. He again gave me oneday to come up with a plan on filming and I dashed around but did the best I could and eventually got into the prisons without any security or protection from the Department (he leterally told me that there was no manpower to protect me you are on your “own”) I took my chances and managed to get what I had wanted: Zonnderwater, Drakenstein in Cape Town, Pollsmoor and a few others. Interviewed over 50 perpetrators and accumulated about 80 hrs of film. However, while I was filming the various Directors of the Prisons did not want me filming so they tried to railroad me but by this time I had what I came for (signatures and all) shipped it via DHL to the States in case they tried to get it from me at the airport and the rest is history. I still had many planned prisons to go to but they imposed a moratorium and have since refused to let anyone (especially a nothing like me) into the prisons to interview prisoners. I interviewed prison personal, drs, went to two hospitals etc., all by my lonesome and a camera person and it is quality footage HD. I even interviewed witch doctors–my next trip I will be interviewing victims again, clergy, random people off the streets, healthcare workers, anyone that is willing to shed light on this problem I will interview.
I got some feedback from a couple of Dept of Correction employees (anonomous) Mr. Wolela referred to me as a “dangerous” women that should not be allowed further permission into prisons to interview unless I gave them the footage first to review–are you kidding me:) I have what I wanted so they can go to hell I want to publish what I have because I have RELEASES from every prisoner signed and audio. I have a letter of permission given to me by the Dept of Correction so I don’t have any problems distributing this at all. I got in while they were still trying to become “Press savvy” and “Politically correct” but I beat them to their own game. And non of them ever knew that I am a South African, speak Afrikaans and Swazi so it has been an interesting journey to say the least; everyone seen me as an American. They gossiped about me in Sotho, Afrikaans and I understood everything they said and they wondered why I was always a step ahead of them when they assumed that I did not speak the language.
Excuse my language correctness when I write to you in a hurry, I do better when I have time. Just wanted to answer your question on how I obtained the footage.
Until we talk again! Margot