I have this beautiful friend. And by beautiful, I mean in every way imaginable. Life deals us all sorts of different blows though and because of this, she’s been really down for a long time. She’s been really down because she’s been really lonely. The longer she is lonely, the more down she gets and the more down she gets, the harder it is for her to stop being lonely.
Then one day she met a man. He seemed perfect. But to add insult to injury, he made it clear from the start that he wasn’t ever going to be able to be what she needed. He couldn’t. Still… It didn’t deter her delight at all. I watched her face and listened as she told me about how this fling made her feel. How alive she felt because of it. How excited she was to go there in her head and to get up everyday and talk about it to anyone who would listen.
Any sane person would have told her to run for the hills because a man that is emotionally unavailable is not the kind she needed right now (if ever). But I couldn’t do it. I listened as she took me through the same details again and again and, as I watched the sun’s reflection setting in her eyes, it got me thinking that the right advice isn’t always the best advice. Where had caution ever got me, so who was I to dole that out as a recommendation to anyone else?
Sometimes it makes more sense to go after something stupid simply because you’ve missed the very magic of goosebumps on your skin. Sure, you could be more sensible than that. But then again, there is only so much sanctity in solitude and sometimes the risk is worth it just to know you are still alive. It’s a senseless wonder, but life can be like that.
Yes, it is stupid to send your heart hurtling down a one-way highway knowing that the road isn’t finished at the other end, hoping for the best anyway even though you know that guilty pleasures seldom end up with any pleasure at all. That’s why they are guilty, but life can be like that.
Isn’t it funny how, no matter how old we get or how wise our lessons learned should make us feel, we still do stupid things in the spirit of immortality? Why? Because tomorrow isn’t always the most important thing. Go out. Be alive. Get hurt. You need to celebrate who you are and how you feel right now – with all your faults and flaws. You are beautiful today, in this moment and you will never have this time again.
So I said nothing about how this could lead to even more hurt than what she had been going through before. I believe there is value in dusting off your heart and putting it through its paces, and how that can be more important than keeping it locked away for a rainy day that may never come. Let your eyes water because you let yourself feel. Sometimes they do that when the light catches them just perfectly as you look into the sunset and they well-up as we soften at its wonder. It doesn’t have to be sad, because life can be like that.
So if you find yourself in love with the idea of something or someone that you shouldn’t be, go with it – even if for just a little while.
It’s not right, but it’s okay.
In fact it’s better than okay. It’s good for you. To feel love is one of life’s truest wonders.
It’s like driving with the window down and looking straight into the sunset.
It will make your eyes water.
Life can be like that.
© Dylan Balkind