Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. Some people are meant to take a long walk off a short pier the same day you meet them. If I was an underwater chess champion and some floozy selling fish net stockings came calling, it’s not likely that we’d high five each other and go for strawberry milkshakes together.
It’s hard to find your “likely pair” though, isn’t it? The world is so full of right-nows and maybes and not-reallys. It’s also really full of perfection that’s too far away, the torment of the imagination and the wounded jade of a heart that has been hurt.
There are few souls that want to sail alone because to spend a rainy Sunday on the couch in your cotton pyjamas watching romantic comedies, picnic in the park or throw smarties into a mouth – you generally need an other. Isn’t it funny then that all the things that annoyed you about being in a relationship are the very things you miss when it is gone? No? Me neither. A heart of stone here too.
We are all the same. We all need a connection. I just did the unthinkable and marched down into another open-plan office and boldly stated that I needed a hug (momentary lapse in heart-of-stone’s function, obviously). We all need to be needed and that doesn’t necessarily make us needy. It makes us honourable. It makes us dignified. It makes us feel.
They say you are lucky to find someone to spend your time, money, holidays, cellphone bill, frustrations, patience, petrol, bonus, kindness and love on. They are right. They also say that if you love something, set it free. That’s the biggest load of bullshit I have ever heard. It’s even worse than that whole having your cake and eating it too madness. I cannot remember the last time I bought a cake, but I can assure that if I am going to buy a cake, I plan on eating it. And I plan to find somebody to love that I don’t have to set free but that I can need, be honoured by and feel for.
© Dylan Balkind