The Butterfly Effect

They’re kind of like Twitter royalty. They have the followers and it seemed they had the good life. Not always so. Each lives, eats, sleeps and bleeds like the rest of us. Fuck, it’s so easy to look at other people and make assumptions. About how good things are for them or how lucky they are or how solid they seem. Sometimes the waves crash far out at sea and other times a lot closer – for all of us. The bad times do not discriminate. Everyone has them.

Robyn Hobson and Brent Spilkin looked back on the paths worn behind them over the past months and shared their caterpillar-to-butterfly experiences with the world. Each one, I’m sure, more sacred to them than we will ever understand. It takes good old-fashioned guts to be that honest and say Namaste to your demons.

Disillusion doesn’t have a dress code. Whether it lives for you through gender or profession – or even the lack of either – either way, it’s about a missed, overlooked or underrated connection. When I hear some of the things men have done (and not done) to women, I’m inspired by the assembled solidarity from their sisterhood. But, I’m me. A gay man with my own worn path that bears no likeness from my perspective to the misogynistic approach that so many men out there still seem to have.

I have had my own civil and human rights violated through physical actions, the spoken word and the unspoken word. Being marginalised – whether it’s for a moment, months or a lifetime – is tough. So we all deserve the very best: women, men, girls, boys, gays, straights, pre-op transsexuals, the rich and the poor. Imagine an assembled solidarity for humanity. Ergo, it’s quite something to learn to prioritise what it is that makes you, you. That’s why I quite like the idea of reincarnating yourself while you are alive.

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­We all have this crazy beautiful place where we can go when we need a little reprieve. It lives among 33 billion neurons and is called interiority. It’s safe and creative and open and magical. Understanding them may seem to be, but feelings are not neuroscience. We just need to learn to follow them more often.

I know that neither Robin nor Brent’s diaries were a request for dialogue so this isn’t meant to coerce or provoke either. To me, the lessons I got from both beautiful statements about the evolution through strife was about coming back to seeing that everything, today, is just as it should be. Always. Even if it sucked or sucks for now. Because one day the wheel will turn and you will be the person that is missed. That leaves a gaping void – to gender or profession – and then you’ll remember how it happened for you and that everything is just as it should be. Even if it has to suck for somebody else… for now.

© Dylan Balkind

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